Denied the Use of His Own Land

Tuesday, September 19, 2023

One of His footmen came to the aid of an American citizen. The resident had erected an elaborate “wiffelball” field in his back yard. More like the Field of Dreams, equipped with full lighting, scoreboard and fencing likely to scale. Some may say what an enthusiast, or some may say what a great dad. The gentleman’s crime was it was built on the wrong type of soil. The land was declared a riparian area. Certain plants and a level of moisture in the ground. The owner of the property was summoned to court and was instructed to remove the structures and to restore the ground. This he did. He complied. Accept for a twenty foot swath of gravel to park his R.V.  because the inspector came out with violation for parking it on the side of his house. 

Summoned to appear before the Board of Zoning of Northfield Center Township. The green haired gentleman, somewhat nervous, not having much experience appearing before the judges, stated his case. It turns out the twenty foot swath was not actually in the riparian area but in a 50 foot setback of the riparian.

He was again summoned.

After much, and I mean much deliberation (in fact a break was called to enter “executive session” so the board and the administration, the town trustees, could discuss the matter in private, so much for transparency. During which the female of the board was heard outside screaming). Then afterward, with further deliberation, one of His footmen stood for the American citizen, stood for his defense to use part of his private property. “You all are having all this discussion over a twenty foot piece of land, smaller than the size of this little room… just give him the variance, it’s his land, give hime the variance. You are supposed to help the citizens not hurt them. Give it to him”. 

The Zoning Board of Northfield Center Township denied him use of his own land.

The female gave a lengthy oration on the delicacy and important significance of nature, and clean waterways, despite the fact the area in dispute was NOT in the riparian area, he was in fact not disturbing any of the plant life. He was denied.

To the credit of the trustees and legal counselor, I believe they came to speak on the residents behalf, but not certain due to the private session. And just to be clear, said riparian / wetland area is NOT natural to the ecological system. It is man made run off from storm drains. 

At the close of the hearing the female who can not help herself, “for a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words” explained to the gentleman that he did a great and wonderful job presenting his case. Yes… she even pissed down his back and told him it was raining. Let us be reminded: “That whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government”

“Has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substances” -Declaration of Independence 1776

Both the Zoning Board of Northfield Center Township and Summit County Soil and Water Conservation are not elected officials, rather, they are a part of the “multitude of new offices, sent hither…” to usurp private property. 

Sincerely,
One of His Footmen